Fathers - Predujice and Policy
by Stuart Birks There was an interesting poll undertaken in 1994 indicating falling public regard for the importance of fathers, especially by women, with support for this view from a researcher at the Office of the Commissioner for Children: The latest Listener/Heylen Monitor found that 60 percent of those surveyed think that children need both parents in order to grow up happily. That is a noticeable drop from 1985, when the figure was 69 percent. Among some groups, the decline is more marked. Only about half the women surveyed this year thought that children needed both parents; in 1985, nearly two-thirds thought so. The decline among men was smaller, from 77 percent to 69 percent. Fathers and the Family Courtby Stuart BirksAs published on About.com Why is it that the legal system and the institutional structures seem to be so stacked against fathers? I am coming to believe that it is due to the expectations that people have of fathers. These expectations have come about from what people see and hear. Much of this is a result of what we, as fathers, do and think.
Parental Alienation Syndromeby Dr. Richard GardnerThis page features a two part article on the Parental Alienation Syndrome. The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), so named by Dr. Richard Gardner, is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other, target parent. |
Mommy Where’s Daddy – Reginald S. Smith
All across America fathers are denied their right to be a dad. The issues may be complex surrounding parenting, but try and look at it through the eyes of the children. All they know is that daddy used to be around and now he is not. We as a society know all too well that some men could care less about their kids, but I would suggest that it is not the norm. Most fathers would walk through fire to be a part of his child’s life. For years our rights have eroded away and we let it happen, society has groomed us to be dead beats because of restrictive visitation, restraining orders, false allegations of abuse, and child support payments so high that it hinders the quality of life for the non custodial parent. In all, the ones who suffer the most are the children. They are caught in the middle. They become the mediators, the sounding board, and sadly the weapon for the vindictive spouse. And what is the cost? Children who have no self worth, children who grow to be substance abusers, batterers, and even more alarming they become so filled with rage that they become killers. This trend should be shocking to us all. Instead of dealing with the real issues, our lawmakers pass the buck to issues like guns. Most of our lawmakers don’t have the guts to face the true issues of the child turned killer. What can we do as a society? First we need to admit the way we have been dealing with crime and our children for the past thirty years is wrong. Secondly we need to bring back morality and that includes bringing back the foundation of the family. How do we do this? There is no easy answer to such a question. I do know this, when the non –custodial parent pays sixty percent in taxes and child support it drives a wedge between him and his children. So maybe that would be a good place to start. Another issue that needs to be addressed is the issue of false allegations. It is so common and wide spread that it has become acceptable in our society. I would suggest that if one has been found to have lied in any court proceedings they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We in America are a nation of law and the time when we abandon that premise, our nation will fall. If we hope to ever get a handle on the violence in this country we must bring back the family unit as a whole. We must also understand that a father plays an intricate roll in the rearing of the children in this country. We should do whatever we can to bring back the values that seem to have been lost.
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